How to Survive from Extramarital Affairs!

The most common question asked by people is “how can I survive extramarital affairs of my spouse”. After a research done on thousands of couples having hundreds of marital conflicts, it has been stated that unfaithfulness of the spouse is the most common and painful experience of marital life. Many tragedies occur in one’s life like physical abuse, rape and sexual abuse but extra marital affair is the worst experience of all. One is left heartbroken at this stage where everything seems so wrong. In order to know the exact feelings felt at the time of unfaithfulness of the partner, you need to go through it once.

The person is depressed and devastated at the situation. One becomes confused and even takes time to actually believe that the person they loved so much has cheated on them. Why this thing happened? Was it my fault? What was the reason that he/she took such a step? Questions like these occur in the mind but the depressing part are that one is not able to figure out the answer of any question. One just feels depressed and feels like ending the life. The research has showed that almost 50% of the spouses in marriage are unfaithful; however, not all of them are caught. This means in half of the marriages one spouse will have to undergo the greatest pain possible in their lifetime. It is not surprising that many people are dealing with this issue in today’s world. But the question is how to deal with extramarital affairs; here are few tips on coping with it.

The first question one needs to think is how do extramarital affairs begin, what led to their beginning? The answer is that extramarital affairs usually take a start with normal attraction to any person. And this person could be a friend or a co-worker, with whom you have been spending quite a lot of time. The second thing which needs to be taking in concern is how these affairs come to an end? This is a three-part process. The first needs the most courage as it need you to tell the truth to your spouse, second requires self-control which means you will never contact or see your so called girlfriend or boyfriend, the third part requires will power as you need to deal with the symptoms of withdrawal with a person you have been in contact with for so long. A permanent separation has taken place and it is your will power which will help you to end this affair completely and forever.

Then comes the third step in which you need to make efforts to restore your marital relationship. But if you have not completed the second step that is a complete and final separation from the lover, this cannot take place. It is true that it is hard to restore a marital relationship after the entrance of a lover in between, but it is impossible to restore it when the lover is still hanging around in between. It is better to end the relationship completely if you truly want to lead a happy marital life. One think that ending an affair will lead to the same old relationship between husband and wife as everything has been forgiven. To a certain extent it is true, all will be forgiven but none will be forgotten. The memories of the affair last in the mind of the unfaithful as well as the person who suffered because of the unfaithfulness.

As the lover has finally left and you are planning to restore your marriage, where you should begin? The following rules does not only apply to couples dealing with extramarital affairs but can be used by all married couples as it guarantees mutual love between them.

First thing which needs to be done is spending time together. You have already lost a lot of time to maintain an extramarital affair, now it is the time to make up, so you better start planning romantic dates where both of you can spend quality time. You can even take your partner to places where you had your first honeymoon or the places which have special importance in your life. This will revive the old memories and comes along old love between both of you. So make sure you have enough time to spend together as it is only time which can rebuild the situation and nothing else. And remember the effort should be made from both the sides, the unfaithful has realized its mistake, have apologized and vowed not to repeat it in its lifetime, now it is the time for you to forgive and enjoy your relationship the way it was.

There are many people who gets attracted towards others but do not wish to cheat their spouse, so they like to avoid it. But some time it is difficult to resist the temptation, what should you do in this case? It is best to avoid the person you are attracted to because this is not the time to test self-control. Rather you should think about your family and children, how much they will suffer because of your act. So, maintain the balance and avoid the situation by simply not entering into the situation. Escape the jaws of infidelity if you really love your family.

It is also necessary that you arouse sexual desire for your partner after you have known about his/her affair. This is an important part of marital life and life as a whole. One needs to restore the passion in a marriage if you have really forgiven your partner.

Infidelity without any doubt is a devastating experience but one needs to recover from it. You cannot live your life thinking about it, just get over it. You have horrible memories of it but you need to forget them if you wish to lead a happy life.